Feb 29 2012

A Refreshing Challenge

When you ask for the light and decide to work with a positively oriented spirit, you’ll experience a positive higher-level perspective to your life. As you choose to stand in the positive realm, you’ll gain the knowledge of how to deal with higher-level interference by using the pure white light. You’ll realize more positive outcomes to your efforts as you work with your spirit to improve your life. The benefits will be immediately evident:

1. Your resolve will be strengthened. When you work with your spirit, you’ll be equipped with the confidence of knowing that, when directed, your spirit will respond and assist you. Your fear of introducing change into your life will be diminished as you replace it with determination and confidence.

2. Your awareness of incoming sources of negativity will be heightened. As you work with your spirit and remain calmly vigilant, you’ll see improvements in how you recognize and assess negative conditions and spiritual assaults, so that you can act more quickly to diffuse them. By being able to identify the signals that you’re receiving negativity, you’ll be better prepared to deal with it as it hits you.

3. Your ability to refuse negativity will be increased. The combined efforts of you and your spirit to refuse and return negativity at the spiritual level will be immensely powerful, because the light will respond to you instantaneously. Refusal in a timely manner will curtail negative thoughts or emotions that could eventually snowball into anger, anxiety or sadness. When you have a spiritual means to refuse negativity, you’ll be less vulnerable to its impact.

4. There will be an improvement in your decision-making skills. You’ll be able to consider more clearly the consequences of how negatively or positively your decisions might affect you. It will be easier to detect negative trends and begin to counteract them to produce positive results. You’ll respect the free will of others and ensure that you don’t allow anyone to break yours.

5. You will enjoy increased energy as you properly refuse negativity. As you progress with your spirit, you’ll get better at eliminating the draw on your energy that results from absorbing negativity from others and from allowing others to drain your energy. In addition, when you refuse negativity at its source, you’ll decrease the accumulation of negative spirits that are drawn to and feed off of negativity. You’ll be more relaxed as you handle stress as negativity and your ability to recharge with the pure white light will mount as you progress.

6. You’ll take more responsibility for your actions. As you realize your spirit-body connection, your perception of who you are and how you conduct yourself at all levels will take on a new dimension. As you take responsibility for every experience in your life, whether negative or positive, you’ll take control of your existence.

7. You’ll learn to convert the negative aspects of your life into positive and productive elements. There are many ways to creatively change a negative atmosphere into a positive experience, whether at home, in the workplace or in public. There’s no better way to deal with negativity than to convert it into a positive element!

It all comes down to taking on the challenge of being positive in an increasingly negative world. With a light-committed spirit and the knowledge of how to work with it, you can rapidly refresh your life!

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Feb 22 2012

Imaginative Self-healing

One of the principles of working with my spirit and the Light is that: “Every problem has a solution at the spiritual level.” When someone is having difficulty in life, there is always a spiritual reason underlying the problem. A person’s spiritual orientation of being negative or positive affects their response to both external and internal spiritual influences.

When a person conducts a self-healing, they have to believe that what they’re doing will eliminate the problem they’re experiencing. Leo and I always enjoy working with children, because they believe in themselves; are able to actively use their imagination to effect real outcomes; and are not yet conditioned by past experiences with traditional or other medicines.

Although I realize that not everyone can effect this type of self-healing, and that this procedure is not effective in every case, some people are entirely capable of healing themselves. An example of a recent distant healing of an 8-year-old child, “Tommy”, indicates how our bodies are capable of self-healing, given an initial boost and, especially, when symptoms first appear. During our first phone conversation, Tommy’s father explained that he was devastated by his son’s recent diagnosis for Type-1 diabetes, and that he had already started an insulin program. I told him that we could help only if his son agreed. He said that he hoped that his son would participate and we set up a phone appointment for the next day after school.

When Tommy came to the phone, I asked him if he wanted to receive a healing and a new spirit that would help him overcome the diabetes. Tommy agreed. I asked Tommy to refuse as Leo proceeded to remove the negative spirits and negative energy from within him. We then asked him to close his spiritual openings (chakras) as we went to each of them with him, healing the ones that were damaged. Next we asked Tommy to go inside of himself and guided him to look at his pancreas. He asked what a pancreas was, and I explained that it was the part of him that wasn’t working and that was why he had diabetes. When he could see inside and look at his pancreas, I asked if he could see Leo’s spirit that was there to help him. He said he could see a bright light.

Then I asked Tommy to bring that same pure white Light* all around and inside of his pancreas, and then if he saw any areas where the Light wouldn’t go. He said there were some dark areas. I asked him to start removing all the cells that wouldn’t accept the Light and to bring in brand new cells that were all lit up. We asked him to continue to do this for a few minutes each day and that we would call him back in a week.

Ten days later, after Tommy’s first visit to the doctor’s since our initial healing, Tommy’s father exclaimed that there had already been an improvement in Tommy’s blood sugar analysis and his insulin dosage had been adjusted. Leo and I checked to see that he had not opened up to any negative spirits, and then went with him to look at his pancreas. He had been removing the cells that were dark and had been regularly bringing in more new cells with the light. Tommy was feeling better and was excited to tell us about his school and the bite-happy puppy that his parents had bought for him when he first got sick.

By the third phone session, Tommy’s father was really excited, because Tommy had again reduced his insulin dosage. He wanted to tell everyone he knew about how and why Tommy was getting better, but he was afraid that no one would understand about the distant healing. He admitted that he was listening in on his son’s conversation while on speakerphone and said that Tommy usually never talked with anyone as long as he talked with us, especially on the phone. It was getting harder for Tommy’s father to resist the urge to tell his doctor that Tommy was receiving an unorthodox style of treatment. He asked what he should do, and I suggested that he could always take Tommy to a different doctor, if he felt uncomfortable. In addition, Tommy’s father felt guilty about not being able to tell everyone the truth about what we were doing; he was unable to tell anyone else about his son’s healing, because of his ethnic and religious origins. I told him that he didn’t have to tell anyone; that he should just be pleased for his son.

Around the sixth week, Tommy had already reached the safe zone as his natural insulin levels reached normal. He was determined to train his puppy that was always nipping at his hands and feet, and was happily unconcerned about his health. He promised to keep on working with his spirit to stay free of diabetes. That’s how a child heals. Then they say: “Now let’s go play!”

In Tommy’s case, his illness might have been hereditary, but the malfunction of his pancreas was also enhanced by negative spiritual influences. Since his spirit was not positively-oriented, Tommy’s body had no defence against the onset of the malaise that was attacking his gland. Once his spirit was replaced by one that worked with the healing influence of the Light and responded to Leo’s initial and supportive healing, Tommy was able to work with the Light in an imaginative way to perform a daily self-healing.

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if it were that simple for everyone to work with their spirit and self-heal as needed? A child’s life is all about the future, even though they are completely content to immerse themselves in the present. Every time I work with a child, I learn so much more about how I can continue to improve my own existence.

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Feb 18 2012

Release the Secret

The other night I watched “Brad Meltzer’s Decoded” on the History Channel, which looked into the U. S. government’s cover up of UFO evidence. At the end of the show, one of the investigators divulged that, when he was eight years old, he had seen a UFO while traveling by car with his family. One of the other investigators said that, if they had known that at the beginning of their investigation, he would have thought that maybe his colleague was a little crazy. However, afterward he could just say: “That’s incredible!”

This response is indicative of how far we’ve come as human beings to respect the experiences of others without prejudgment. When someone reveals that they’ve seen a UFO, their credibility is immediately taken into question. Rather than just evaluating the details of the story, a person’s judgment and mental stability come into question.

When I was fifteen years old, I was contacted by a roomful of other-worldly beings who appeared on a small movie screen. Unlike the usual circumstances surrounding such events, such as when a lone person is traveling in a remote location, I was fully conscious in a public place full of adults and children. However, since I was the only subject of the communication, my friends advised me not to talk about it, or people would think I was crazy. So I remained silent for fifteen years, until I was able to tell someone that I trusted. Especially during my silence, I often wondered about the significance of being the object of the communication and if there would be any follow up. (See my post Early Flat Screen Presentation.)

Most people keep their alien contact or sightings secret, because of the skeptical reaction they anticipate. Over the ensuing years, they agonize over thoughts like: “Why me?” “Why was I selected as the recipient of that encounter?” “Does this have some significance in my life?” The investigator on “Decoded” stated that his UFO sighting stood out as one of the wonders of his childhood, yet he wouldn’t talk about it until after the show’s investigation had sufficiently backed up his credibility. Earlier on the show, Story Musgrave, a former NASA astronaut, pointed out the statistical certainty that intelligent life must exist on other planets and that some could be billions of years more technologically advanced than we are.

While living in California about fifteen years ago, I was also fortunate enough to be witness to a small group of craft passing over our property. Within a period of about two weeks Leo had called me outside several times to see some ships, but it took me too long to exit the house and courtyard to reach him on the hillside garden where he was working. Then, one day I threw down what I was doing and rushed outside, just in time to see three small craft moving westward about fifty feet above the house. They were rather small, about the size of small helicopters, but they were angular in shape and had small triangular wings. As I looked up at them flying in a v-shaped formation, they appeared to be made of a translucent material through which light passed, but I couldn’t see the interior or if they were manned. They passed by silently at no more than 20 mph. I was so excited as I watched them leave my field of vision over the hillside! Then, about thirty seconds later, a B-3 bomber came over us, and followed the path of the small crafts. The B-3’s engine was loud and it looked out of place compared to the advanced-looking crafts.

When I saw the UFO’s, I was with someone who wasn’t afraid to talk about what we had seen. The following day at the local coffee shop, Leo and I related our sighting to a couple of acquaintances, who had been pilots during World War II. The pilots asked questions about the structure, position, airspeed and heading of the craft. Although it felt strange to talk about what we had seen, we were talking to experts that understood the experience, and I’ve never questioned the event since.

Carrying the secret of childhood abuse is a similar burden to having witnessed a UFO event, although much more painful, of course. In both cases, you’re not supposed to tell or talk about your experience. You’re forced to carry around your secret, because of the fear that your story will trigger ridicule, reprisal or hurtful criticism. You might fear that, once your secret is revealed, you will be ostracized and that the skeptical reactions of even those closest to you might be too overwhelming and will ultimately change their perception of you as a person.

Just as the world is coming around to questioning the government cover up of UFO activity, the cover up practices of the abuse of children by religious organizations like the catholic church are finally being examined. When prestigious people like heads of state, military personnel or scientists state that they have witnessed UFO events, the public never questions their integrity; it was a remarkable experience. When celebrities reveal their childhood abuse, it’s seen as a factor in driving their success. For most of us, it’s a painful process of wondering if we’ll be perceived as dysfunctional or ‘damaged goods’. However, many more people are finally letting go of their fear of exposure.

As I’ve grown to love myself over the years, I’ve learned to talk about what happened to me, since withholding the information had been a negative impediment to my well-being. You are the product of your experiences so, if you keep events like a UFO sighting or childhood abuse a secret, the effects of not speaking out can be more harmful than just telling it like it is. Just pick your audience; there are some people out there who will listen without judging you. When you’re ready to let go, remember to refuse and release the negativity that you’ve been accepting. You’ll feel better, happier and much lighter!

NOTE: The illustrations posted here are only to suggest what the UFO that Leo and I saw looked like. It didn’t look like either sketch but more like a composite of both (the 2nd relating only to the translucency of the metal).

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

Feb 6 2012

Ways to Stay in Positive Mode

When you work with a positively-oriented spirit, your awareness of impending negativity will heighten. As you become more sensitive to the energy around you, you’ll notice how much negativity permeates our planet from the spiritual level. In order to be positive all the time, you will need to be able to identify and refuse incoming negativity so that you can return to a positive mode.

Here are some ways to help you maintain a positive stance:

Remain in the positive realm at all levels of your being. Think of a sine wave where everything above the x-axis is positive and everything below is negative. You can’t be both positive and negative at the same time. The more positive you are, the less negativity can affect you.

Positive thinking and activities are essential to keeping yourself in positive mode. The strength of your positive state will inhibit the entry of negativity. It’s important to let go of emotions or thoughts that drag you into a negative frame of mind. Know when to turn off the negative input and switch to something that elevates you into a positive state. Use your creative skills!

Remain in your body in the third dimension at all times. People are constantly wandering around in other dimensions, as they daydream, meditate and otherwise escape into higher realms and leave their body vulnerable. When a body is left open to the spiritual elements, it is susceptible to negative interference. Focused relaxation, such as self-healing, is recommended without the incorporation of any outside influence.

Remain in the present, even when planning your future. When you’re thinking about the past or future, your consciousness should remain in the present. In other words, if you’re bringing in energy from the past or the future, you could be inviting negativity from unknown origins.

Become an expert at refusing negativity. If you don’t refuse negativity you accept it. The better you refuse, the more completely you block unwanted negative energy. Whether you’re thinking, dreaming, talking, listening, reading or watching, you have to refuse the negative elements of those activities, so that you don’t attract negativity from related sources.

Adjust yourself electrically, chemically, vibrationally, dimensionally and spiritually throughout the day to spring back into balance as needed, especially after a negative experience.

Bring in the Light as often as you like to keep yourself recharged. The more positive you become, the more the Light will linger within you.

Working with your spirit is a lifestyle. As you work together to progress, you’ll be invigorated by the challenges of being positive in a negative world. As you detach yourself from the negative realm, you’ll be better able to refresh yourself at all levels with limitless positive energy from the Light. The amount of progress that you make depends on your commitment to working with your spirit and how quickly you’re willing to let go of the negativity that you’ve been harboring.

Find out how to get started by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Jan 29 2012

How We Heal Across Distance

I find this scientific explanation of how distant healing works fascinating … Recently I came across an article by Srinivasan Pillay, a psychiatrist and speaker, who has conducted a study on distant healing. It was interesting to read the results of Dr. Pillay’s study, as it explains some of the science behind our distant healing work. In his article, “The Science of Distant Healing”, Dr. Pillay writes:

“Within the scientific community, there are a group of people who believe in distant healing and a group of people who do not. Those who believe in distant healing do not believe that it is just some “spooky” phenomenon. There are four principles of physics underlying intention that have been described in the literature: (1) that intention is transmitted by an as yet unknown energy signal; (2) that intention warps space-time much like gravity, creating pathways for connection; (3) that people, like particles are described in quantum physics, have instantaneous correlations across distance; (4) that intention is much like measurement in quantum physics. It organizes random possibilities much like how wave functions can be collapsed into a single function.

So, as of now, it appears that distant healing works in some situations but not in others. But what does this mean? I believe that the healing is not always effective for several reasons: (1) the quality of the intention is not high enough; (2) different intenders have different capacities; (3) different illnesses may require higher levels of intention; (4) there may be other intentions coming from elsewhere that disrupt the intention being measured. I am less inclined to believe that “distant healing” is all nonsense, because the data we have so far illustrates that there is definitely the possibility that the effect can be felt. It is just not ubiquitous or uniform.

I would caution against believing that all people are equally able to perform distant healing, but where there is expectation and faith, the chances of success are higher. In fact, in the study that showed that distant healing had no effect on chronic fatigue, the expectation that one would get better did have an effect. I wonder if this implies that intention works best when we believe in our own capacities to get better.” ¹

Dr. Pillay has appropriately described the underlying principles of the intention of distant healing. Here’s how they relate to our work:

(1) that intention is transmitted by an as yet unknown energy signal

To my knowledge spiritual/psychic/quantum healing energy has not yet been quantified. In my recent post, “What’s In Healing Energy?” I described how the energy signal that Leo was emitting while he focused to bring in the universal white light to perform a healing was measured in gamma wavelengths, as indicated on a Roentgen scale.

(2) that intention warps space-time much like gravity, creating pathways for connection

After we determine that a recipient freely accepts the healing, we can make a connection at what we call the spiritual/psychic/quantum level, so that the healing energy can be instantly conveyed to the recipient across any distance.

(3) that people, like particles are described in quantum physics, have instantaneous correlations across distance. It organizes random possibilities much like how wave functions can be collapsed into a single function.

The connection that we create with a willing recipient is done at the spiritual/psychic/quantum level. We ‘read’ a person through the vibrations present in their spiritual openings, known as the ‘chakras’. Our reading of their chakras during a healing is how we instantaneously connect across distance.

(4) that intention is much like measurement in quantum physics

In quantum physics the measurement would create the connection. Similarly, our reading of the negative vibrations present in a person’s chakras at a given instant provides the basis for their removal. Once we connect with the negativity, we simultaneously send pure white Light to surround and extract it from each of the recipient’s spiritual openings.

Dr. Pillay further describes the reasons for impediments to the effectiveness of distant healing energy:

(1) the quality of the intention is not high enough

It requires years of dedicated practice to accurately receive and deliver focused information during the process of a distant healing. Leo practiced healing for over 60 years, while I have trained and practiced for over 25 years.

(2) different intenders have different capacities

Through practical experience we have sharpened our inherent abilities to work toward higher levels of competence, so that we can remove the confluence of powerful negative influences from willing recipients.

(3) different illnesses may require higher levels of intention

When a recipient houses a large conglomerate of spiritual negativity, the intender has to be more powerful than the influences that require removal. Otherwise, the recipient could continue to suffer from the effects of any influences left behind. To activate the self-healing mechanism inherent in a recipient, it is sometimes necessary to repeat the intention at one- or two-week intervals.

(4) there may be other intentions coming from elsewhere that disrupt the intention being measured

External influences from a variety of sources can obstruct the connection to targeted negative influences within a recipient. In order to complete the intended healing, we must at the same time remove potentially harmful external interference. The recipient must help to prevent such interference by concentrated refusal.

As further scientific studies are conducted on distant healing, more people will be open to the benefits that it presents. When I perform distant healing, I extend the knowledge and benefits of the positive energy of the pure white Light to others.

You can read Dr. Pillay’s entire article online at the link below:

¹ Srinivasan Pillay, “The Science of Distant Healing ,” Huffington Post 24 Mar 2009 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/srinivasan-pillay/the-science-of-distant-he_b_177986.html

Find out how to request a distant healing and get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Jan 20 2012

Religion Can Strike a Sour Chord

For most of my life I’ve quietly been a non-believer and it always amazes me how adults continue to believe in the creation and other stories that their religions narrate. While I still respect the choice that religious people make to believe in something as intangible, abstract and incredible as an omnipotent being that created everything from scratch, it would be less farfetched to worship the big bang. However, when you think about how children are conditioned and encouraged in very clever ways to follow the footsteps of their parents or government into a given religion, it’s not hard to understand why religious beliefs are so embedded into the minds of almost all human beings.

Recently a client mentioned to me how fortunate she felt because she had never been indoctrinated into any religious belief system as a child. I felt so pleased for her, because she had never been forced to participate in such an incarceration of the mind. I reflected on my own catholic upbringing that was filled with conditioning by experts. My earliest memory of being punished was when I was three years old. I had just returned from having attended church for the first time without my mother. Our neighbor, a staunch religious woman, had caught me “sweeping the floor” with my nose, and advised my mother to punish me immediately with a spanking. My mother questioned this advice but, because she was being pressured by one of her peers, duly spanked me for my irreverence. Even though I protested that all I had been doing was counting the boots of the people in the row in front of us!

After learning that I was to do everything exactly as everyone else did while in the house of cards, I became an observer. I used to watch everyone as they entered the church: walking up to the basin of holy water, dipping their finger in and genuflecting down on one knee as they crossed themselves with the blessed liquid. Everyone was so serious, all dressed up in their finery. If a young girl forgot to wear a hat or scarf over her head, a helpful mother would kindly provide her with a Kleenex and bobby pin to ensure her respectful appearance.

One Sunday there was an unexpected transition from the normal solemn mood of the mass. The organist, who happened to have been my first grade teacher, suddenly stood up while playing one of the livelier tunes that she usually played with such reverence. As she stood up, she looked around as though she was expecting everyone’s admiration. My mother who led the choir looked at her with some surprise. As the weeks went by, the organist continued to stand, then even smile and move in rhythm with the music as the pressure for attention mounted. To everyone’s relief, the poor woman was soon replaced, so that the somber monotony could resume.

It was around that time, when I was about 12 years old, that my mother announced that I was going to be able to take piano lessons. I was ecstatic at the prospect of finally learning to play the big old upright that stood in our dining room. Some of my older five sisters had started lessons, but never seemed to stay with it. For two and a half years, I was the happiest person around. I practiced piano every day before dinner, but was among the shiest of all pianists. When my mother brought company over and asked me to play, I would agree only if they all sat in the other room. I was so happy that I didn’t have to take lessons at the convent, where tales of yardsticks as weapons were wielded on faulty fingers. When I won first place at a regional piano competition, I was both proud and relieved because they had allowed me to focus while I played facing a wall.

However, soon my musical elation would be thoroughly quashed as religion interfered. One day as I was getting money for the bus to go to my weekly lesson, my mother mentioned that I could soon start learning to play the organ at the church. I looked at her with incredulity. My immediate response was: “Then I’ll quit!” To which my mother responded: “You’ll regret it!” I felt threatened and came back with: “I might regret it, but I’ll never play the organ at church!” I knew only too well how many hours had to be spent playing at the church while the choir practiced. And who would always be popping in to see the ladies but the depraved priest that had raped me a few years earlier! Even more troubling was when the priest accepted my mother’s invitation to dinner that Easter. It was difficult to sit across the table from that man, knowing that he was held under such esteem by my mother, while I was still under his threat not to tell or my family would be punished.

Although music and religion have intertwined since ancient times, from when temples were built to maximize the impact of sounds and song to when many musical artists attribute their talents to early song worship, religion always strikes a sour chord for me. It brought me nothing but grief as a child and continuously presents divisiveness on our planet. In a world where freedom is of concern to us all, what about the religious freedom of children? Despite all the physical and psychological efforts by the religious conditioners in my early life, I’m glad that I was able to see through the hypocrisy and rationally decide for myself about the notion of God.

On the positive side, my experience set me on a spiritual search for meaning in my life. It wasn’t until I started working with my spirit that I finally understood that the ultimate goal of every human should be to personally attain harmony with their spirit.

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Jan 14 2012

Choose to Use Your Free Will

One of the best ways to take your life in the direction you want it to go is to constantly exercise your free will. In the process you will stop being a follower, make stronger commitments for better health and help yourself at the spiritual level.

The first step in using your free will is to understand what it is. Simply put, it’s your ability to make choices. You can choose to go along with suggestions and invitations by others, or you can choose to say “No, thanks.” Making choices can also be the breaking of free will when you’re on either the giving or receiving end. Parents are notorious for breaking a child’s free will, such as when their child sincerely protests about their dislike for given activities. You’d allow others to break your free will if you always agreed to participate in their activities, even when you’d rather be doing something entirely different.

Early in life most of us wanted to be accepted by our peers, so we were susceptible to going along with the crowd. Youthful leaders didn’t very often guide in a beneficial sense, but in a popular sense. Those who followed often became followers for life and their ability to think outside the box was diminished by their desire to fit in. When you make a conscious decision to follow your own unique interests, you’ll discover a whole new realm of possibilities that make your life more like you envisioned.

On a daily basis there are many choices we make to improve our health and to nurture our future happiness. Some of the most common decisions involve diet, personal habits and exercise. For those who suffer from overwhelming urges to eat the wrong things, the question should be: “Am I in control or is this ice cream in control of me?” Others might ask: “Am I in control or is this cigarette in control of me?” It can also come down to the personal choice of: “Am I in control to exercise this morning, or is this computer screen or warm bed in control of me?” Whenever we make commitments to better ourselves, we actually make decisions that will improve our future. No one really wants to look back and say that they wish they hadn’t overeaten, smoked or been inactive earlier in life.

From the spiritual point of view, everything that you do at the physical level can affect you at the spiritual level. And vice versa. When you accept negativity in any of its forms at the physical level, you deny your spirit the go ahead to progress. In order for you to progress spiritually, you have to remove the negativity from your life so that your spirit can proceed in a positive mode. If you choose to make decisions that bring negative thoughts, emotions or activities to your life, you interfere with your spirit’s ability to progress. Since your spirit also has free will, it can choose to remain negative or to accept the positive input that you provide. It’s your choice how quickly or slowly you effect your spiritual progress.

As you exercise your free will both physically and spiritually, you will mold, shape and sculpt your own future.

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

Jan 7 2012

Make the Leap to Be Positive This Year

Over the past 25 years I’ve studied the nature of spirits and observed firsthand how they interact with humans. I’d like to provide a little insight into the spiritual world as I know it, so that you’ll discover how the choice of a more positive spiritual experience could enhance your entire life.

Before I began working as Leo Jean’s assistant, I was unaware of how the spiritual world affects us all. After being entertained by paranormal and spooky movies as a teenager, I was first introduced to the metaphysical world through my studies of Spanish literature in university. It wasn’t until I had met Leo and discussed having once used a Ouija board with my high school girlfriend did I realize that I had been in contact with one or more spirits as the Ouija device whizzed around the board with amazing accuracy. (Note: Now that I know better, I don’t condone the use of a Ouija board!) I have risen above the awe and fear that spirits can generate, and respond to all negative spiritual behavior with a calm and absolute refusal.

Since the great majority of spirits that exist around our planet are extremely negative, they must be regarded, not as entertainment or curiosity, but with respect and immediate rejection. These stealthy clever beings have lost most of their positive knowledge and indulge in an endless existence of negative activity. If a deceased person’s spirit remains around its survivors, it’s because it has lost its knowledge. Otherwise, it would have headed directly into the pure white universal Light*. Negative spirits are drawn to all sorts of negative activity, so it’s best not to invite them into your environment. Instead of accepting the presence of a spirit, you should completely refuse it.

The very notion of a positively-oriented spirit means that they do not accept or respond to any negativity whatsoever. As these Light spirits progressed and, in order to have attained vibration at the highest possible frequency, they eliminated all negativity from their existence and will not accept it in any form. The reason that Light spirits don’t inhabit the earth in greater numbers is because they respect the free will of negatively-oriented humans. In addition, Light spirits would never approach people, if they have no knowledge of the Light. Until Leo started bringing Light-committed spirits to help people, the only Light spirits housed in humans were those very few that were born with a Light spirit.

In order to better understand the behavior of spirits, consider a Light spirit (+spirit) to be a blob of sparkling white energy, then think of a negative spirit (-spirit) as a blob of energy in any of the colors of the spectrum. In order to recharge, the +spirits gather their energy from the eternal source provided by the universal pure white Light. The -spirits can’t draw energy directly from the Light, because it doesn’t support negativity. So, -spirits have a tendency to cluster together and draw their energy from each other. A dependable way to identify a negative spirit is that it can’t achieve the frequency of pure white Light.

Up until the time that I met Leo Jean I had experienced such a traumatic and negative life, that I thought I must have had a very negative spirit. Leo explained that, although I had been born with a Light spirit, during the early part of my life my spirit had lost so much strength that it was almost powerless. To make matters worse, I had allowed several negative spirits to enter me during some traumatic childhood events. All that had started me on a search, but it wasn’t until I made a sincere request for help from the positive realm of the universe that I found the man who still held knowledge of the Light. When I rejected all sources of negativity and began to recharge from the pure white Light, my spirit made leaps and bounds in its progress.

How would you know for sure if you’ve accepted any negative spirits? If you’ve had overpowering thoughts of sadness, self-pity, hopelessness or fear, you’ve accepted emotional negativity. If you’re ridden with stress, indecisiveness or an inability to concentrate, you’ve accepted mental negativity. These tendencies would have caused you to attract one or more negative spirits that fed off of the negative energy that you generated. Most of the time, these beings would just hang around you as interference. However, some would actively try to get inside your spiritual openings. If some succeeded in entering your form, you would have started to notice a decline in your overall well-being.

It’s important to realize that most people started out with a negatively-oriented spirit, because Light spirits are not attracted to the Earth. You might ask: “Why can’t I work with my original spirit, the one I was born with?” That’s quite a common question, but what if your original spirit doesn’t want to be positive? What if a much stronger spirit has displaced it? You have a much better opportunity to help yourself if you have a spirit that’s already committed to progress to the Light. Then you can start to work immediately with your ‘new’ spirit to improve your life.

Over the years I’ve worked with many individuals who had participated in spiritual removals from different natural/spiritual/psychic/quantum healers with disappointing results. What happened was that the well-meaning practitioner housed a negative spirit that was stronger than most of those that they were trying to remove, so the person felt a difference. Usually, this process involves the exchange of a few negative spirits for a few other negative spirits that have different designs upon the subject, and can result in temporary relief. Unfortunately, many people have found us only after lengthy and costly searches around the world, like a man who recently called to say that he had travelled all the way to Brazil to work with “John of God”, but found that he was worse off than when he had started.

It’s your choice whether to make the leap into a positive spiritual experience this year. The most effective way to kick-start your life into the positive realm is to get all the negative spirits cleaned out and to ask for a new Light-committed spirit that’s ideally suited for your body. When you can see your spirit as a twinkling sparkle of white Light, you’ll know that your spirit is becoming part of the purely positive Light. We all came from a spiritual state and we’ll eventually end up in a spiritual state. So, why would you want your spirit to be anything but pure white Light?

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Dec 31 2011

Help Yourselves to Keep Your Resolutions

Are you making your New Year’s resolutions for 2012? Do you really want to be able to keep them? Let’s consider how you can propel your desired changes into a powerful commitment to yourself to keep them. If you make an effort to direct your ‘self’ at all levels of your being, you’ll be better prepared this year.

I’ve learned that I have several different aspects of my ‘self’ that work for or against me, depending on my awareness. There’s the ‘I’ that exists in my physical form, the one that maintains my physical body and houses the other parts of me. ‘I’ ask the other levels of my self to assist me in my daily life and when ‘I’ make commitments to improve my well-being.

My ‘higher self’ knows everything about my life and is prepared to assist me whenever I ask. My higher self is the memory bank of my entire life from the instant of conception right up to this very moment. It’s aware of every thought, emotion and action in my life. I can ask my higher self to help me with memory, problem solving and decisionmaking. My higher self is also my liaison between my physical self, my inter-dimensional self and my spiritual self.

My ‘inter-dimensional self’ is that part of me that exists in higher dimensional states. It has the ability to travel outside my body and sometimes allows me to remember those journeys. However, my interdimensional self is susceptible to receiving calls from others and, if permitted, it would respond to those calls by leaving my body to interact at the interdimensional level. I never permit a response to such calls, since it would leave my physical form vulnerable to negative interference.

My ‘spiritual self’ is the highest level of my being. My spirit, a sentient being that exists entirely in a spiritual plane of existence, is the most powerful part of me. It alone has the ability to transcend the physical plane completely. I’ve learned how to interact with my spirit to improve my wellbeing, and my spirit has a major role in helping me to stay on a positive track.

In order to keep my commitments, there has to be a high degree of resolve, so that the various levels of myself will be able to help me. So when “I” make a commitment, I’m doing a few things at once:

I’m asking my higher self to help me to accomplish a goal. My higher self immediately sets in motion the connections needed in my brain to complete that task.
I maintain control of my inter-dimensional self by staying inside my body. In this way, I no longer accept distractions or interference from that level of existence. If I’m accepting negative input at the inter-dimensional level and I don’t refuse it properly, I would prevent my spirit from being able to effectively help me.
When I feel any negative interference about the process of keeping a commitment, I refuse the thought or emotion that was triggered. Then I ask my spirit to return the negativity to its point of origin with the pure white Light. As I direct my spirit to do this, my spirit instantly sends Light to the source of the negativity, thereby eliminating the interference. Once the interference is gone, I can resume my positive stance. This process has to be repeated and is more effective as you gain strength.

In addition to using your component selves to help you to create positive lasting change, you first have to love and accept all parts of yourself as you are. Then you can change the things that you want to be different. Only if you refuse and remove negative interference can you expect your higher self or your spirit to help you to keep your commitments.

Now you can begin working with all aspects of yourself in unison, and you should have no problem keeping your resolutions in 2012!

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Dec 14 2011

We’re All Spiritual Beings

Most think of the spiritual world as dauntingly mysterious. It’s an unseen realm in which we all dwell and interact, but most have failed to comprehend its significance in our daily lives.

Many are fascinated with ghosts and paranormal occurrences, while others like to surrender their spirituality to a religious institution. I had never been satisfied with those interpretations of what exists beyond our physical dimension. Through my work with Leo Jean, I’ve learned so much more about the spiritual world around us all.

You can think of a spirit as a sentient being without a body. From the instant of our conception, we have a spirit. Even before conception a spirit has to make a decision whether or not it wants to create and enter a particular body. Why are so many couples that are physically capable of creating children unable to conceive? It’s because there’s no spirit that has decided to enter that embryo. On the other hand, sometimes a spirit will leave, and the woman miscarries. As Leo says: “Without a spirit, there is no life.”

Anyone who owns a pet or has worked with animals will suggest that their animal has a spiritual connection with them. It goes beyond words with animals. People feel emotions for their pets and their pets sense energy and emotions from their owners. That’s because animals have spirits, too. Their bodies are just equipped differently.

Where did all these spirits come from then, if only a few humans started out on this planet? It’s comparable to the question of what happened before the Big Bang (if there was one). If there were only a few people on Earth in primitive times, where did all the spirits come from that now exist within the 7 billion people and the billions of animals on our planet? Well, we could say that the spirits of all those people and creatures came from the microscopic life that existed before these lifeforms came to be formed. Then, from where did all those spirits possibly originate?

Humans are all born with intuitive skills. Newborns are intimately connected with the spiritual world, as they adjust to their physical forms. Infants are in tune with the spiritual realm and they can see and hear spirits in their daily activities. Toddlers smile when they see a friendly face and will put up a fuss if someone comes up to them that they aren’t familiar with. In some cases, a toddler will scream hysterically if a particular person comes around them. That’s because the toddler can see the spirits in and around that person and is rejecting that person. Infants and toddlers see the faces of the spirits and are reacting to their knowledge of that type of spirit.

There are positive spirits and negative spirits. The positive spirits will never break a person’s free will, nor will they hang around a negative environment. Positive spirits make choices. Negative spirits, on the other hand, have lost their positive knowledge and are engaged in all kinds of negative activities. For instance, a negative spirit will find an opportunity to enter a screaming toddler in a moment of distress. The toddler has let down their spiritual defences and has opened one or more of their spiritual openings. In pops a negative spirit.

Once a child opens one of their spiritual openings, it can lead to more spiritual vulnerability. If a child closes their spiritual openings, they are better off. However, usually every time that they endure another emotional outbreak, that same spiritual opening will reopen because it is damaged. A child that has a very calm demeanour is a child that remains closed to other spirits.

Why would a spirit want to invade someone else’s body? Sometimes it’s a spirit of a deceased family member that has remained around their relations because they don’t know what else to do or where to go. They’ve lost their spiritual knowledge, because their former body didn’t know how to direct their spirit. So they enter a body out of convenience. Then they don’t have to create a form from scratch.

The next question that arises is what does a spirit do inside of someone else’s body? That depends on the spirit and how negative it is. Some spirits will enter or invade a body because they want to cause harm to the original spirit’s creation or to torment a spirit that is housed in another body.

There are destructive spirits that can cause damage to humans. For instance, a child with ADD can be helped if they allow the removal of the spirit that is causing the problem. Spirits can be too powerful or will simply not adjust to a human form easily. This causes an imbalance. More dramatic signs of ill-suited spirits are when a child suddenly contracts a life-threatening or terminal illness. Although I respect medical science, sometimes a spiritual solution can be a viable remedy. Very often the change of a child’s spirit will allow their body to heal and give that child a chance at a normal healthy life. A child can see their spirit as a comforting sparkling light.

What does it mean to work with your spirit? The children that Leo and I have worked with immediately get it. They begin to remove the negative influences that have caused their problems and get on with life. It’s very simple for a child, because they haven’t yet lost all of their inherent spiritual knowledge. On the other hand, adults are the most difficult to work with, due to their many years of conditioning and loss of spiritual knowhow. We usually ask the children we work with to describe or draw pictures of ‘the ones that bother them’. Most children are still so much in tune with the spiritual world and can talk about it in a matter-of-fact way.

How could Leo possibly know how to work with spirits like he does? From my understanding, Leo never let go of his spiritual knowledge of the Light* throughout his life. For most of that time, he had to remain quiet about what he knows, because it’s not a generally accepted practice in our society. Leo is, however, a very steadfast dedicated man and he has endured 90 years without relinquishing his knowledge.

Part of the knowledge that is usually rejected is that which refers to the origin of our spirits. Again, what caused the Big Bang? What was there beforehand? Now scientists are hypothesizing that there is a multiverse and that our universe is just an offshoot, a bubble that is expanding, along with many others. So, where did all our spirits come from?

From the thousands of people that we’ve worked with around the world, we’ve compiled an immense amount of information about the origins of our spirits. Spirits know no boundaries, and can move freely anywhere throughout the multiverse. They can cross over into our universe and create a form. The bodies that they create trap them inside the molecular structure, but they can enter and exit through the form’s open spiritual apertures. A person’s original spirit can exceptionally enter and exit its own form through closed apertures. Other spirits cannot enter a person’s form if their spiritual openings are closed. The scary version of all this from the movies causes people to be afraid but, in fact, many people house more than one spirit.

Why would all these spirits be acting in this way? What’s the point of all this spiritual body-hopping? From our perspective, this has been continuously happening throughout time on our planet. Few spirits have any positive knowledge, so they are largely destructive or self-destructive. They feed on energy, and thrive on the negative energy that they create. Some are even too powerful or destructive to exist in a human form.

Our spiritual/natural/quantum healing method provides a solution, as we match positively-oriented spirits to people to create a synchronized balance. When a person works in harmony with their spirit, they are working with a sole spiritual being that is dedicated to improving their life experience.

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment!

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Nov 26 2011

4. Uncertain Circumstances

In retrospect, if I had known the upcoming consequence of leaving the city with my ex-husband, I might never have made the journey. It was, however, exactly the result of having been placed in such a precarious situation that I discovered the spiritual realm and the significance of working with my spirit.

During the summer of 1983 we moved to a small rural village called Lac La Hache (translated ‘Axe Lake’), located just north of the town of 100 Mile House and about 300 miles north of Vancouver, B.C. My ex had bought a cabin with no running water and no telephone connection on a dirt road about a quarter-mile from the main highway.

Shortly after we moved in, my ex drove to the city and returned with his son, Jesse, who was then 10 years old. Most of the day they were outside shooting gophers with slingshots and practicing ax throwing and archery in the nearby woods and fields. My ex had been raised on a farm and learned to hunt as a child. One day they brought home a dead gopher in a box and placed it on the back fence, saying it was to dry for a few months so that they could examine the bones. Before doing that, though, my ex had cut off the rodent’s tail and nailed it to the side of the house. I thought all this to be very strange but, since it was a guy’s thing, I wasn’t supposed to understand. Jesse’s mother came to pick him up and seemed puzzled at why we were living under such conditions, especially noting the water tanks above the basements stairs that supplied our ‘running’ water.

Our next-door neighbor had a structure with several long poles tied together at the top, and he had tied his very large ever-barking dog to a chain. He told me that the pole structure was for hanging deer, and I was horrified to think that I would have to view this from my kitchen window. His dog, he explained, had been abused, so it was dangerous and couldn’t be released. I decided to thwart that man’s cruelty by showing some kindness. One day, while my ex was on one of his many trips to the city, I saw some deer on the edge of the fence that separated our properties from the forest, so I ran outside and shouted at them to go away. Several times when my ex was away, I saw the dog off the chain and invited him over with the scent of a meat snack, which he would gently snatch from my extended hand.

There wasn’t much for me to do in that place, and my ex always seemed to be going somewhere without me. I remember someone saying to me one day that I should be careful not to get cabin fever, because it happened a lot up there. I laughed, but wondered what that meant. Sometimes, when we went to town to buy groceries, we would have lunch at the hotel or at the local popular diner. While at the hotel I was watching one of the waiters who seemed to be having some sort of meltdown, while other people were talking to him. I asked my ex what he thought was going on, and he said that the owner of the hotel was in the habit of bringing homeless youths from Vancouver Island to work and live. He added that the owner was someone who had the means to build the only landing strip along the highway so that he could land his Leer jet when he visited. This person was rumored to own 25,000 acres, including the town.

One morning I woke up with a burning itching sensation on the top of my left foot. I pulled off my sock and saw that there was a half-inch long triangular-shaped scrape there. I wondered how I could have hurt my foot at that spot and not known it. Then I thought that maybe a spider had bitten me, and I had just scratched the skin off. I showed it to my ex and he shrugged. The wound took at least a week to heal.

Later that year, my ex brought his son up to stay with us during the holidays. I remember how cold it was to go outside in -40F (and C) to quickly toboggan down a nearby hill. The cabin wasn’t very well insulated, and when it got really cold, the windows would ice over. It was dreadful, to say the least.

The next month, in January 1985, my ex announced that I was to go down to Vancouver to stay with Jesse for a couple of weeks while his mother went to the Dominican Republic on holiday. On the way back to town with Jesse, my ex announced that he also had to go out of town, so I would be staying with Jesse on my own. I never questioned him anymore, since his answers were always so elusive and, besides, it meant being in the city away from that ridiculous cabin near the woods. I enjoyed being in the city again; it was my first time back in over a year.

Jesse’s mother, a former nurse, had made a practice of traveling around the world to learn various healing methods in the hope of setting up her own practice. She had lived in Ecuador where she set up a sensory deprivation chamber, and had studied acupressure in China. When she returned from her trip to the Dominican Republic, she told me that she had also gone to Haiti to sit in on a voodoo ceremony. When she mentioned the voodoo ceremony, I recalled the shrunken two-toed sloth that she had brought back from the Amazon years before as a gift for my ex. She startled me when she said that she thought that my ex should be more spiritual. I didn’t know what she meant by that, and just nodded in agreement. Since my ex was now back at the cabin, I was expected to return the 500 miles by bus. My car had been sold to raise money to buy the cabin and a rental car was not an option at the time.

Before I got on the bus in Vancouver I bought a Psychology Today magazine to read en route. I read an article that sparked something in my mind and lead to a realization about my life. The article referred to some studies that found that individuals who had been raped had suffered ongoing trauma, especially if they had never received therapy from the event. The study showed that, if a person went for more than 5 years without getting help, their symptoms would compile and cause significant psychological damage. I suddenly realized that I had never received help from the times when I was assaulted as a very young child and, moreover, that I had been raped as a teenager, such as by my best friend’s brother after high school and again, more violently, while on one of my trips to Europe. I had survived all of that, but had never considered any further consequences. I just kept going as best I could, without ever telling anyone.

Upon my return from the city, I gasped when my ex announced that we were going to join the local gym, and that we had an appointment that afternoon to take a tour. Although I had attended aerobics classes at the university, there had never been any mention of a gym in our lives up to that point. Although puzzled I was enthusiastic, since I have always made a point of staying in shape. That afternoon we met with a charming woman who showed us around the facility just outside of town. Before that, I never even knew the facility existed. My ex was so interested in this gym that I asked him when and where he decided to join. His response was garbled and then he demanded: “Do you want to join or not?” Despite the unusual offer and my ex’s sudden change of mind about fitness, I agreed to a one-year membership. Interestingly, I would never set foot in that building again.

The next thing I knew, my ex had to leave on another trip to the city and would be gone for about a week. He brought me some supplies, including some food, cigarettes and a gallon of wine. There I was, all alone at the cabin, with no telephone, no vehicle and almost no money. The only money that I had at the time was a hundred dollar bill that I had hidden away for emergency use. At least I had that. It was now bitter winter and I spent almost all of my time indoors because of the cold. When my ex returned from his trip, the bizarre sequence of events that followed could only be described as scenes from a scary movie in which I was the one running for my life.

Nov 23 2011

3. Living with Abuse

Although I sometimes pondered my telepathic and visual encounter with those beings, I wasn’t able to talk about it for fear of being ridiculed. My solution was to set it aside in my mind and hope to deal with it later, as I had done with the early abuse events. As I grew older, however, I still found it difficult to fit in and seemed to spend a lot more time alone.

During my last year of secondary school, after which I had planned to go on to university to study to become a teacher, my math teacher announced to all the students that, since there was a surplus of teachers in the system, anyone who planned to become a teacher should think of another career. I was going to pursue a teaching career because I thought I would be able to afford the one-term university requirement. Since I really didn’t know what else I wanted to do and I certainly wasn’t going to go back to the student counselor’s office, I decided to enter the work force. I didn’t want to continue to live at home and sponge off of my parents, so I found a job as a sales clerk in a trendy clothing store. It wasn’t long before I moved to a nearby city to share an apartment with my sister.

After a few months my sister was offered a job in Vancouver, British Columbia, so she left and I lived on my own for several months. Then I followed my sister out west, when her firm offered me a job as a junior accounting clerk at their head office in Vancouver. I lived with my sister for a month until she moved in with her boyfriend, and I had to find my own apartment. After a year the firm moved to New Jersey. Since I didn’t want to move east, I found other work and saved my money, so that I could travel.

During the summers that I was turning 19 and 20, I made a couple of solo trips to Europe, where I traveled to France, Spain and the Netherlands. My main interest was to take in the culture, but I also met many people along the way. At the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam I saw the largest painting I had ever imagined: Rembrandt’s The Night Watch. While in France I toured Versailles when the palace was still in restoration. In Madrid I visited El Prado, in Barcelona I enjoyed Gaudi’s architectural works and in Granada I was fascinated by El Alhambra before it was restored. Apart from my cultural tours I spent several weeks in southern Spain on the Balearic Islands of Mallorca and Ibiza.

Just prior to making my first trip to Europe I met a married man who was twice my age. When I returned we dated and he showed me a carving of a woman’s face made from a deer horn. He told me that a woodsman had carved it for him and that it represented his ideal woman. For the first 5 years I was hopeful about our relationship, although he had a small son from his marriage and kept promising to divorce his wife. I wasn’t really keen on getting married, because I didn’t really believe in the fairy tale but, after 7 years, Mr. Corcoran convinced me to tie the knot. That was one of the worst decisions of my life.

Before the marriage my ex was intent upon coaching me in life. Even though he had very little to show for his own accomplishments, I was young and impressionable and allowed his guidance. At the age of 20 he helped me to buy my first property, a farm in eastern Ontario, Canada where I started my first company, a concrete-breaking and excavating venture. By the time I was 24 I was the general contractor for the development of a subdivision adjacent to Whistler Mountain, B.C., the site of the recent 2010 Winter Olympics. I bought a house and started taking university courses at Simon Fraser University during the winter months. I loved going to classes and studying. It gave me energy and resilience, while the darkness of my relationship developed.

My ex-husband turned out to be abusive, both psychologically and physically. Not only was I part-time mother to his son but I was, on many occasions, host to his ex-wife when she returned from her trips around the world. My ex expected me to welcome her because she was Jesse’s mother. At that time the experience of pseudo-motherhood was exhilarating; my stepson became my best friend; and I loved the periods of time when he was with us. Although I had hoped to have children myself, it was fortunate that I did not succeed with that man.

The first incident of abuse made me feel like I was somehow to blame for making my ex-husband angry. His niece had come to visit and was staying with us for a few days. As my ex and I lay in bed on the first evening of her visit, he asked me very casually what I was thinking. I mistakenly told him what was on my mind – “Wouldn’t it be nice if my two youngest brothers could come to visit?” Out of nowhere came a punch to one side of my upper face. I screamed out and he went into a rage. He had always come across with the demeanor of a nice guy, especially with all of his many friends and family. His niece called from the next room to see if everything was okay, and he told her it was. The next day I had a swollen black eye that I had to cover up with sunglasses so that I could attend my university classes. What kind of person was this? How could he possibly hurt me? I had always told myself that, if a man ever hit me, I’d leave him immediately. That was one promise to myself that I sadly never kept.

The second time that my ex hit me was about 2 years later, after we had gone to a popular bar in the Whistler Town Center. It was the first time that I was asked to go to that establishment, since it was full of after-work men from the various construction sites. I remember chatting for a few minutes with one of the subcontractors on our job then, in the truck afterward, my husband stopped and turned off the ignition. He started pummeling my face with his closed fists, as I raised my hands to try and fend off his blows. I learned at that moment that he was an insanely jealous and angry man. I didn’t know what to do, other than remain quiet and sobbing, as he ranted on about how I had embarrassed him by talking to another man. I was terrified. I was too afraid of him; of what I would do next; and of failing in the relationship. Yes, I was afraid to fail in the relationship. I somehow blamed myself for what had happened.

However, I was also afraid that I might have permanent damage to my face the next morning when I woke up covered in bruises. I slipped away to the nearest town, 40 miles away, with the excuse of going to the bank and grocery store. While there, I went to the emergency unit of the Squamish Hospital to ask a doctor to check out my wounds. The female doctor told me that I was going to be all right, but that she was bound to report any such abuse to the police. I begged her not to do that, since I was terrified that my husband would have killed me in retaliation. I don’t know whether the incident was ever reported, but I never received a visit from the RCMP.

Along with the physical violence, there was constant psychological abuse from my ex who turned out to be an incorrigible alcoholic. While I was attending university, he always came adorned with plenty of alcohol and friends at exam time. As a teenager I had become accustomed to partying with my friends on weekends but, with my ex, it had become the life of an alcoholic and I had no friends of my own. Once, when I tried to quit smoking, he offered me a cigarette after three months, and I accepted. He would never allow me to succeed or be happy at anything. It all had to be for him, or not at all.

The third and last time that my ex hit me was when one of his friend’s friends asked us over for drinks one evening during the holidays. I chatted with one of the guys, who happened to be a dentist. My ex had made certain that I had my teeth repaired when we first met, kind of like making sure that the horse you bought had good teeth. I remember telling the dentist that the dentist that repaired my teeth had asked me out for drinks after one visit. After I said that, I walked by my ex and he punched me right in the solar plexus. Out of breath, I stumbled out of the house and walked several blocks to our place, where I decided that I would try and hide from him. I was still in shock and started to walk aimlessly away. After a couple of hours I had to face him again but, by then, my trust had turned to fear. I was becoming conditioned by the abuse and would continue to try and please him.

In 1983, just after I had completed a successful semester at university, my ex-husband decided that he would take me far away from the city, to the middle of nowhere, so that his control could be absolute. When I finally gained the courage to leave him, it would be like living a nightmare, only I would be fully awake and would have to survive the terror alone.

Nov 19 2011

1. Early Impetus

My life changed significantly when I learned to work with my spirit over 25 years ago, and I could then view my existence in a whole new perspective. Perhaps my story will inspire you to work with your spirit as you search for meaning in your life.

Ever since I was a young child I pondered the reason for my existence. How did we come to be on this planet and for what purpose are we here? Burdened with a childhood steeped in deep religious doctrine, I began to break away at the age of 8, at least in my thoughts, from the notion that God was the most important factor in my life. It was at that time that I remember lying in bed and saying to myself: “I’m not worthy to be married to God.” I had just decided that I didn’t want to be a nun, as my mother had been nurturing me to be up to that point.

It wasn’t the first time that I had questioned catholic doctrine as a child, like in the first grade. My teacher was telling my class all about how our religion doesn’t worship pagan gods, statues or idols. I put up my hand and asked the legitimate question: “But what about all the statues in our church?” That question met with firm facial disapproval by the teacher, as she quickly changed the subject.

Later on in 1966, at the age of 10, I was still trying to meet the standards that every “good” catholic girl is supposed to strive for. I had excelled in my catholic studies and was already “confirmed” by the bishop. In the spring I volunteered to teach religious doctrine by introducing the catechism to 1^st grade catholic children who were attending the local protestant school. Two other students had also volunteered and we met in the church basement on Wednesdays after school. After our class on the third week, I decided to show my fellow instructors how to make prank calls on the phone in the basement kitchen, like one of my sisters had done a few days earlier. We were laughing away at one of the calls, when a voice came on the phone, obviously the priest who had picked up the receiver upstairs, telling us to stay right were we were.

An endless minute later, Father LeFaive came charging down an interior stairway (that I never knew existed) and broke open the door. He was livid with anger, asking who was responsible for talking on his phone. Being the ultimate honest child, I admitted my guilt and the priest told the other children to go home. He pointed to a tray of plastic glasses on the counter of the kitchen, and ordered me to bring it upstairs for him. I climbed the stairs with the tray of plastic glasses with such fear of punishment that I could barely breathe. I knew that I was in deep trouble when the priest told my mother what I had done.

To my surprise, when we entered the upstairs doorway, we entered into the priest’s kitchen, not into the church itself. My heart was pounding with fear by then, as the good father told me to put the tray down on the counter. Then he told me to go through the archway leading into the hallway but, instead of turning right and going into the vestry, he pointed over my shoulder to go through the doorway straight ahead. As I entered the room I saw that it was the priest’s bedroom. The bed was immediately to my left, while I remember looking at myself in the mirror on the opposite wall. I wondered what he was going to do, as I watched him in the mirror.

Well, it didn’t take but a few seconds upon entering the room, when Father LeFaive told me to lie down on the bed. Of course, I did so immediately. He was, after all, my priest. I saw him undoing his belt, and so I thought that he was going to beat me. However, as I was entering a state of panic, he told me to close my eyes and go to sleep. I remember peaking through my almost-closed eyelids as I watched the priest and I went into some sort of altered state as I left my body to the sexual punishment meted out by that sick man of god (I omitted the capitalization on purpose). When I returned to consciousness, my clothes were back on and we were in the vestry. Father LeFaive looked me square in the eyes and said to me, in no uncertain terms: “Run home now, or you’ll be late. You can’t tell anyone what happened. If you ever tell your mother or anyone, the devil will punish your entire family!”

Wow! That kind of ended my belief in any kind of benevolent deity. So my search for a real meaning to my life began in earnest. When I was a disgruntled teenager (no wonder!) I asked my mother on a few occasions why the priest would have taken me into his bedroom. My mother would be so indignant when I brought up that subject that it took a lot of courage for me to break into such conversations. Her response was always to shrug and say that I must have seen the inside of the priest’s house from the vestry or gone in when my younger brothers were altar boys. Then, as I would try to relate the exact details to explain what had happened, she never listened, and always insisted that I was mistaken. Her religious beliefs blinded her to my plight, and our relationship became intolerable.

Something similar had happened when I was 6 years old, on my first sleepover at one of my classmate’s. Our moms were best friends; my mother was the choir leader at our little church in the village, and her mother sang alongside her. My friend’s father was one of the two village policemen, and he used to sit in his easy chair in the livingroom and shout out orders. During the night, as my friend and I lay asleep in her bed together, I woke up to find that her father was pulling me down to the foot of the bed. I asked him what he was doing, and he told me to go back to sleep. I watched as he pulled my girlfriend down, then I went back to sleep. In the morning, when my friend’s mother asked me how I slept, I told her that her husband had “come in and woke us up”. She dismissed my statement stating that he had just gone to use the bathroom. When my mother arrived to pick me up, I immediately told her about being awakened in the middle of the night, and the other woman looked at her and explained that he had just gone to use the bathroom.

As I grew into adulthood I always remembered these events vividly, but I never dealt with the emotional impact that they had on me. My mother, who was supposed to be my most trusted guardian, could only dismiss my allegations as some sort of imaginary concoction or misinterpretation of the events. As a result of my fear of reprisal from the church and my mother’s non-action, I learned to keep things to myself after that. Since these two very notable experiences had happened during my primary development years, I was hardly able to deal with them on my own. At home I was nicknamed “Gluck”, short for “Gloria the Suck”, because I was always crying for my mother.

As a result of my early childhood experiences, I was extremely shy. Although I was able to articulate my viewpoints with my close friends, I was unable to master any form of communication with groups. Instead, I would utter some silly phrase or out-of-context comment that would make others look at me strangely. As a teenager I decided that I wasn’t going to follow the path that everyone else was heading for. I couldn’t, because I had these terrible secrets, and felt I would never fit in. So I abandoned the ideals that had been presented to me as a child, and began to search for more meaning in my life. I felt there was something terribly hypocritical about the trappings of a so-called normal life, so I decided that I would seek that which was real. At least what was real to me.

I wanted to know about my purpose here. I didn’t want a fairy tale. Then at age fifteen, I had some of the most profound five minutes of my life, when I was presented with the seeds to my quest for substance in my existence.