Sexual Abuse is Spiritually Devastating

calmbeachwpThe recent revelations by the dozens of women about having been drugged and sexually assaulted at the hands of the so-called ‘iconic family man’, Bill Cosby, brings to mind the plight of the thousands of children around the world who have been sexually assaulted by Roman Catholic priests. Because of my own experience at the hands of a middle-aged priest when I was a child, this ongoing saga of sexual exploitation of women rings especially loud and clear.

For the now dozens of women who have accused Mr. Cosby of these abhorrent acts, there has since been no peace in their lives. They all relate how they had lived with the pain of their experience, due to the way they had been lured into the sole company of the perpetrator then drugged into unconsciousness, so that he could have his way with them. However, they were either afraid to tell anyone because they were afraid no one would believe them or, as many of them have stated, even their friends, family or bosses never believed them when they did speak up because their stories seemed so incredible.  We should all be outraged at the behavior of this sexual predator and collectively defrock Mr. Cosby of his celebrity status as these women seek legal recourse after the Statute of Limitation has passed for a criminal proceeding.

When I listen to all of these women’s stories about being drugged and raped by a prominent celebrity, their intense emotions of anger and betrayal bring back the terror of my own experience when I was only 10 years old. I had been ‘drugged’ into the belief system of the RC church and then lured into a situation where I was alone with a 40ish revered man. I was raped by an angry priest for making prank phone calls in the church basement while I was teaching catechism (tenets of the faith) to younger children who were attending the village public school.

Just as most of those women had had aspirations of furthering their acting careers in trusting Mr. Cosby, innocent young children like me have been placed in the hands of sexual perverts in the hopes of gaining spiritual favor through the RC church. We thought it was a privilege to be asked by such prominent people in our lives to spend time with them. We were sadly mistaken.

Stormy Sky

Even though it’s difficult to listen those adult victims talk about their nightmarish lives after their sexual assaults, children have much more difficulty dealing with the aftermath of such a breach of trust. From my own experience, I know how difficult it has been to overcome the enormous emotional pain and suffering. I understand their helplessness in not being believed, yet I had been threatened with the destruction of my entire family if I dared tell anyone what the priest had done to me. That was a massive responsibility, so I kept the event a secret until I couldn’t handle it anymore.

Thanks to the actions of the judge that unsealed Mr. Cosby’s 2005 deposition, I sincerely hope that the information now coming forward will vindicate these women and lead to some much needed healing, as their stories become believable in the court of public opinion. Rather than simply dismiss their stories, we all need to listen to women and children when they claim they’ve been sexually abused, because the vast majority of us don’t make up such sorrowful stories on a whim or to gain attention.

Relaxing SunsetLike these women I was a strong enough person to persevere through a hellish 20 years after the rape, but I was also a very spiritual person who had seen through the façade of religion and kept searching for an approach to spirituality that wasn’t tied to any organization or institution. It was only when I met my mentor that I was able to once again connect with my spiritual self and regain my dignity.

If you’re an abuse survivor, and the Statute of Limitation in your location has already passed, in order to start healing at all levels, you can:

  1. Forgive yourself. You’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t feel like you ever have to forgive the despicable brute that abused you.
  1. Love yourself. Start accepting yourself for who you are. Recognize and nurture your inner beauty.
  1. Practice calmness. Unchecked anxiety is detrimental to your physical health. Relax through regular exercise and quiet time in nature.
  1. Start self-healing by looking after yourself. Eat healthy and get proper sleep. Refrain from self-medicating through the use of drugs and alcohol. Find someone and/or a professional you trust to talk to about the abuse and allow their counsel as constructive, rather than critical.
  1. Start working with your spirit by actively bringing in the pure white Light* and using it to remove the negativity you feel mentally, emotionally and physically. Do your best to refuse the spiritual negativity that has accumulated from all the ongoing negativity you’ve experienced. I specialize in removing latent spiritual negativity and can help in this area.

Sexual abuse offends us at the highest level of our being and can potentially fracture our spiritual connection irreparably. Apart from the mental, emotional and social healing process, there is still a lot of spiritual work to do to emerge from the nightmare.

the pure white ‘Light’, a universal source that is comprised of essentially pure positive energy

I welcome and value your input ~ Please feel free to comment!

I work across distance to extend my higher-level knowledge to you, wherever you are in the world! Learn how great life is when you work with a positively oriented spirit!

Why not drop by my work website… OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com

Discovering Answers

Iguazu FallsThis past week’s landing of the ESA’s Philae lander on a distant comet was a realtime reminder of how combined human ingenuity can result in phenomenal accomplishments. The Rosetta spacecraft’s success in delivering its lander to the comet is an important facet of our collective search for answers to the longstanding questions about the origins of life in our solar system.

Comet67P

Another news event that caught my attention was about Barbara Bowman who revealed in a Washington Post article that the comedian Bill Cosby sexually assaulted her when she was a 17-year-old aspiring actress. On CNN Ms. Bowman explained that she had attempted to ask for help concerning Mr. Cosby’s actions from several people, including lawyers, but her allegations had been immediately dismissed as ridiculous. It wasn’t until more people started coming forward with similar allegations about Mr. Cosby’s behavior that Ms. Bowman again ventured forward with her story. As she held back tears during her CNN interview, she stated that during the 30 years since the incidents: “I was terrified of him!”

Not unlike Ms. Bowman’s struggle, I’ve been through the wringer of guilt, pain, shame and blame that accompanies such abuse. During the first 20 of the almost 50 years since I was sexually assaulted by a Catholic priest, I experienced a kaleidoscope of emotions that ranged from shock, fear, disgust and despair. Especially disheartening was the reaction of disbelief when divulging that such a ‘distinguished’ person could commit such perverse acts.

Pinks Floral ProfieWhile Ms. Bowman confronts her unresolved issue from 30 years ago, I can look back today and be grateful to have found a solution 30 years ago that has irrefutably contributed to my wellbeing. Leo Jean, my dearest friend, husband and mentor who passed away a year ago, had shared immeasurably helpful knowledge about my spiritual wellbeing that has enabled me to help not only myself, but many others, to meet the challenges that we face at all levels of our lives.

The astounding feat of the first landing on a comet to collect data from its ancient surface to shed light on our physical origins has required many minds and many billions of dollars. On the contrary, many of the answers that we seek about ourselves are not found millions of miles out there in the universe but, rather, right within us, in the essence of our spirits.

While the scientific community is making progress on solving the age-old questions of why we’re here and if there’s anyone else out there, some of us have to resolve the difficulty of coping with abuse in our lives.  Our timelessly knowledgeable spirits can help guide us through such complexities of life – we just have to make the right connection to discover how.

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Find out how to get connected with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment! 

Related material:

http://www.esa.int/Our_Activities/Space_Science/Rosetta/Pioneering_Philae_completes_main_mission_before_hibernation

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/11/13/bill-cosby-raped-me-why-did-it-take-30-years-for-people-to-believe-my-story/

Numbered and Encumbered

30Doradus Hodge31Some recent studies in neuroscience have revealed that our human brains are hardwired to be spiritually aware. However, I’ve observed that all living creatures are spiritually aware.  And it’s important to note that spirits are not religious; people are religious.

As a child I was given no choice but to be indoctrinated into the catholic religion’s belief system.  When I questioned certain practices, there was a stern glance and a change of subject.  When I was sexually assaulted by the priest, my only way out was to keep quiet under threat that my entire family would be punished by some omnipotent being.  Now, as the pope resigns and the moral depravity of the RC church has been exposed, I feel a great sense of relief that the church’s days are numbered.

When you enter into a religious belief system, you’re surrendering your spirit or ‘soul’ into the care of that faith.  That means that you’re also accepting and are subject to all of the spiritual encumbrances that come along with your commitment.  For most people, it’s apparent that they feel comfortable being in the company of numbers of people who have similar spiritual inclinations.  As a child, I was subject to every fear, guilty feeling and shame that the church could place on me to keep me in line.

What I’ve learned is that your spirit doesn’t care if you have a faith or religion.  It doesn’t make you any more or less moral or likely to progress with your spirit.  The fact that you wear certain clothes, symbols or wear your beard in a certain fashion doesn’t mean anything to your spirit.  It could care less.  The fact that you might be accepting some spiritual encumbrances does matter.

When your spirit started out with you in this life, it accepted all of the circumstances that you shared.  As you proceeded in life, you helped or hindered your spirit as you made choices that have led you to where you are today.  Whether you’re religious or not, you still have the intuitive tendency to believe that there is more to your life than what’s apparent.  But what is your spirit being subjected to?  Animals are spiritual, and they’re not religious.  Their spirits are experiencing an existence, just like ours are.  Because our evolution gives us different abilities doesn’t mean that we’re any more or less likely to progress spiritually than a dog, dolphin or elephant.

The spiritual knowledge on our planet has been largely lost due to man’s long history of creating religious and other practices that hold people to spiritual encumbrances, like karmic debt, that follow their spirit into each reincarnation.  What they are, in essence, are groups of spirits that attach themselves to the spirit and whatever form it creates in each subsequent lifetime.  So, a spirit can bring many groups of spirits with it that can create a lifetime of interference in many ways.

When Leo and I started to remove spiritual encumbrances, it was a long slow process until we gained enough strength and spiritual knowledge to know how to remove the advanced spirits that summon the groups to attach to a person.  Once we accessed a high level of vibrational knowledge, we’ve been able to successfully remove the layers of huge groups of spirits that cause interference. What a spirit can’t escape is being summoned by their unique vibration, to which they must respond.

Leo Jean's Starlike© paper sculpture on glass filled with resin and beads

The spiritual level impacts the physical level when someone accepts an encumbrance from someone else. Even if a person thinks they’re helping their spirit by joining a religion, they’re oblivious to and accepting of everything, including spiritual and inter-dimensional influences, that the religion sends with it.

When Leo and I were living in California in the 90’s, we were essentially told to stop providing healing services by the Medical Association because we were not doctors, so we weren’t allowed to heal people.  We consulted with an attorney who stated that the only way we could continue to work with people in California was to create a religion by way of a 501(c)3 corporation.  Since Leo & I were adverse to religion, we moved to Arizona, where the law was different.  Soon afterward it became apparent that, unless we started a religion in the USA, we were going to be harassed by the powerful AMA.  We actually began the process of starting a 501(c)3, but then realized that we were being pushed into a negative practice.  So we moved to Canada, where people can freely heal and be healed without the involvement of a religious institution.

When large groups of spirits are removed from someone, there is a distinct release of higher level negativity that trickles down from the spiritual to the physical level.  Due to the lack of positive spiritual knowledge on our planet, religious institutions thrive by offering negative spiritual encumbrances that bind people into their numbers.

Find out more by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment! 

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Hallowed Hypocrisy

A recent episode of “Brad Melzer’s: Decoded” delved into the mysterious death of Pope John Paul I in 1978.  The investigative crew opened up the suspicion that Vatican officials didn’t conduct a full and open investigation because the newly elected pope might have exposed some of the church’s secretive practices and corruption within its ranks.  This topic always perks up my ears, since I’ve long been anticipating the unraveling of this hypocritical establishment that has recently faced the exposure of widespread sexual abuse of children by its clergy.

The team first looked into the fact that the Vatican is a sovereign state, so the pope’s death was subject only to an internal investigation.  Some Italian prosecutors and at least one investigative journalist ended up murdered in the aftermath.  Next they explored the fact that JPI was possibly a reformer and some speculated that he was about to out corruption inside the church.  Before becoming pontiff, JPI had visited with the last remaining child who had witnessed the Fatima ‘miracle’ and had also been involved with the Vatican Bank in Venice.  Apparently the well-meaning pontiff discovered that the prophecy was about his intention to reveal the infiltration of Freemasons into the church’s hierarchy, as well as corruption within the Vatican Bank.

In summary, Brad Melzer asked: “Who would’ve predicted the Vatican would end up laundering heroine money for the Mafia to cover up a Freemason banking scandal that ends up with the murder of the pope?  Our Lady of Fatima.”

If the church is so corrupt, as has been proven beyond a doubt over the centuries, why do people continue their membership?  The recent exposure of child abuse by the clergy makes it abundantly clear that no child is safe around their ‘celibate’ priests.   Even with evidence of monetary corruption, people continue to contribute tax-free dollars to the Vatican’s ‘vow of poverty’.  If it’s ever proven that Vatican officials murdered a pope and they used the ‘vow of obedience’ to cover it up, would people still believe in what this institution stands for?  Does this make any sense?

Fear is the greatest tool of a negative regime and, while coercive practices are outlawed in most societies, they are at the root of most religious doctrines.  From my perspective, as someone who broke away early in my life from the apparent hypocrisy of Catholicism, people are simply desperate for someone to look after their spirit (soul) after they die.  As religious institutions are aware of this fateful fear, they offer it to anyone on this planet who is willing to accept that an organization could provide a secure position in the afterlife.  Why would anyone trust the most precious part of their being to such a manmade institution?

When I see the billions of people that have lumped their spirits into the various religious organizations that divide our planet, I perceive an underlying spiritual battle that fuels their incessant demand for more members.  Even the most seemingly benevolent religious organizations place spiritual impediments on their members to ensure that they will comply with the requirements of membership.  The very notion of praying for someone else is a breach of the recipient’s free will.

The fact that the Catholic Church has paid hundreds of millions of dollars to suppress the public testimony of thousands of abuse victims is reason enough to avoid the church like the plague.  I could express at length the contradictions, but I believe that anyone that has experienced such deliberate infractions of their free will already understands.  I’m glad that the mainstream media is bringing to light such hypocrisy with such shows as “Decoded”, since so many are unable to believe it’s really true.

From my perspective, I had been searching for a way to fulfill my own spiritual needs, until I acknowledged that my spirit is a unique entity that is within me for my well-being and that I alone am responsible for its progress.

 

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment! 

 

Religion Can Strike a Sour Chord

My Other KeyboardFor most of my life I’ve quietly been a non-believer and it always amazes me how adults continue to believe in the creation and other stories that their religions narrate.  While I still respect the choice that religious people make to believe in something as intangible, abstract and incredible as an omnipotent being that created everything from scratch, it would be less farfetched to worship the big bang.  However, when you think about how children are conditioned and encouraged in very clever ways to follow the footsteps of their parents or government into a given religion, it’s not hard to understand why religious beliefs are so embedded into the minds of almost all human beings.

Recently a client mentioned to me how fortunate she felt because she had never been indoctrinated into any religious belief system as a child.  I felt so pleased for her, because she had never been forced to participate in such an incarceration of the mind.  I reflected on my own catholic upbringing that was filled with conditioning by experts. My earliest memory of being punished was when I was three years old.  I had just returned from having attended church for the first time without my mother.  Our neighbor, a staunch religious woman, had caught me “sweeping the floor” with my nose, and advised my mother to punish me immediately with a spanking.  My mother questioned this advice but, because she was being pressured by one of her peers, duly spanked me for my irreverence.  Even though I protested that all I had been doing was counting the boots of the people in the row in front of us!

After learning that I was to do everything exactly as everyone else did while in the house of cards, I became an observer.  I used to watch everyone as they entered the church: walking up to the basin of holy water, dipping their finger in and genuflecting down on one knee as they crossed themselves with the blessed liquid.  Everyone was so serious, all dressed up in their finery.  If a young girl forgot to wear a hat or scarf over her head, a helpful mother would kindly provide her with a Kleenex and bobby pin to ensure her respectful appearance.

One Sunday there was an unexpected transition from the normal solemn mood of the mass.  The organist, who happened to have been my first grade teacher, suddenly stood up while playing one of the livelier tunes that she usually played with such reverence.  As she stood up, she looked around as though she was expecting everyone’s admiration.  My mother who led the choir looked at her with some surprise.  As the weeks went by, the organist continued to stand, then even smile and move in rhythm with the music as the pressure for attention mounted.  To everyone’s relief, the poor woman was soon replaced, so that the somber monotony could resume.

It was around that time, when I was about 12 years old, that my mother announced that I was going to be able to take piano lessons.  I was ecstatic at the prospect of finally learning to play the big old upright that stood in our dining room.  Some of my older five sisters had started lessons, but never seemed to stay with it.  For two and a half years, I was the happiest person around.  I practiced piano every day before dinner, but was among the shiest of all pianists. When my mother brought company over and asked me to play, I would agree only if they all sat in the other room.  I was so happy that I didn’t have to take lessons at the convent, where tales of yardsticks as weapons were wielded on faulty fingers. When I won first place at a regional piano competition, I was both proud and relieved because they had allowed me to focus while I played facing a wall.

However, soon my musical elation would be thoroughly quashed as religion interfered.  One day as I was getting money for the bus to go to my weekly lesson, my mother mentioned that I could soon start learning to play the organ at the church.  I looked at her with incredulity.  My immediate response was: “Then I’ll quit!”  To which my mother responded: “You’ll regret it!” I felt threatened and came back with: “I might regret it, but I’ll never play the organ at church!”  I knew only too well how many hours had to be spent playing at the church while the choir practiced.  And who would always be popping in to see the ladies but the depraved priest that had raped me a few years earlier!  Even more troubling was when the priest accepted my mother’s invitation to dinner that Easter.  It was difficult to sit across the table from that man, knowing that he was held under such esteem by my mother, while I was still under his threat not to tell or my family would be punished.

Although music and religion have intertwined since ancient times, from when temples were built to maximize the impact of sounds and song to when many musical artists attribute their talents to early song worship, religion always strikes a sour chord for me.  It brought me nothing but grief as a child and continuously presents divisiveness on our planet.  In a world where freedom is of concern to us all, what about the religious freedom of children? Despite all the physical and psychological efforts by the religious conditioners in my early life, I’m glad that I was able to see through the hypocrisy and rationally decide for myself about the notion of God.

On the positive side, my experience set me on a spiritual search for meaning in my life.  It wasn’t until I started working with my spirit that I finally understood that the ultimate goal of every human should be to personally attain harmony with their spirit.

 

 

Find out how to get started working with your spirit by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment! 

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

1. Early Impetus

My life changed significantly when I learned to work with my spirit over 25 years ago, and I could then view my existence in a whole new perspective.  Perhaps my story will inspire you to work with your spirit as you search for meaning in your life.

Ever since I was a young child I pondered the reason for my existence.  How did we come to be on this planet and for what purpose are we here?  Burdened with a childhood steeped in deep religious doctrine, I began to break away at the age of 8, at least in my thoughts, from the notion that God was the most important factor in my life.  It was at that time that I remember lying in bed and saying to myself: “I’m not worthy to be married to God.”  I had just decided that I didn’t want to be a nun, as my mother had been nurturing me to be up to that point.

It wasn’t the first time that I had questioned catholic doctrine as a child, like in the first grade.  My teacher was telling my class all about how our religion doesn’t worship pagan gods, statues or idols.  I put up my hand and asked the legitimate question: “But what about all the statues in our church?”  That question met with firm facial disapproval by the teacher, as she quickly changed the subject.

Later on in 1966, at the age of 10, I was still trying to meet the standards that every “good” catholic girl is supposed to strive for.  I had excelled in my catholic studies and was already “confirmed” by the bishop.  In the spring I volunteered to teach religious doctrine by introducing the catechism to 1st grade catholic children who were attending the local protestant school.  Two other students had also volunteered and we met in the church basement on Wednesdays after school.  After our class on the third week, I decided to show my fellow instructors how to make prank calls on the phone in the basement kitchen, like one of my sisters had done a few days earlier.  We were laughing away at one of the calls, when a voice came on the phone, obviously the priest who had picked up the receiver upstairs, telling us to stay right were we were.

An endless minute later, Father LeFaive came charging down an interior stairway (that I never knew existed) and broke open the door.  He was livid with anger, asking who was responsible for talking on his phone.  Being the ultimate honest child, I admitted my guilt and the priest told the other children to go home.  He pointed to a tray of plastic glasses on the counter of the kitchen, and ordered me to bring it upstairs for him.  I climbed the stairs with the tray of plastic glasses with such fear of punishment that I could barely breathe.  I knew that I was in deep trouble when the priest told my mother what I had done.

To my surprise, when we entered the upstairs doorway, we entered into the priest’s kitchen, not into the church itself.  My heart was pounding with fear by then, as the good father told me to put the tray down on the counter.  Then he told me to go through the archway leading into the hallway but, instead of turning right and going into the vestry, he pointed over my shoulder to go through the doorway straight ahead.  As I entered the room I saw that it was the priest’s bedroom.  The bed was immediately to my left, while I remember looking at myself in the mirror on the opposite wall.  I wondered what he was going to do, as I watched him in the mirror.

Well, it didn’t take but a few seconds upon entering the room, when Father LeFaive told me to lie down on the bed.  Of course, I did so immediately.  He was, after all, my priest.  I saw him undoing his belt, and so I thought that he was going to beat me.  However, as I was entering a state of panic, he told me to close my eyes and go to sleep.  I remember peaking through my almost-closed eyelids as I watched the priest and I went into some sort of altered state as I left my body to the sexual punishment meted out by that sick man of god (I omitted the capitalization on purpose).  When I returned to consciousness, my clothes were back on and we were in the vestry.  Father LeFaive looked me square in the eyes and said to me, in no uncertain terms: “Run home now, or you’ll be late.  You can’t tell anyone what happened.  If you ever tell your mother or anyone, the devil will punish your entire family!”

Wow!  That kind of ended my belief in any kind of benevolent deity.  So my search for a real meaning to my life began in earnest.  When I was a disgruntled teenager (no wonder!) I asked my mother on a few occasions why the priest would have taken me into his bedroom.  My mother would be so indignant when I brought up that subject that it took a lot of courage for me to break into such conversations.  Her response was always to shrug and say that I must have seen the inside of the priest’s house from the vestry or gone in when my younger brothers were altar boys.  Then, as I would try to relate the exact details to explain what had happened, she never listened, and always insisted that I was mistaken.  Her religious beliefs blinded her to my plight, and our relationship became intolerable.

Something similar had happened when I was 6 years old, on my first sleepover at one of my classmate’s.  Our moms were best friends; my mother was the choir leader at our little church in the village, and her mother sang alongside her.   My friend’s father was one of the two village policemen, and he used to sit in his easy chair in the livingroom and shout out orders.  During the night, as my friend and I lay asleep in her bed together, I woke up to find that her father was pulling me down to the foot of the bed.  I asked him what he was doing, and he told me to go back to sleep.  I watched as he pulled my girlfriend down, then I went back to sleep.  In the morning, when my friend’s mother asked me how I slept, I told her that her husband had “come in and woke us up”.  She dismissed my statement stating that he had just gone to use the bathroom.  When my mother arrived to pick me up, I immediately told her about being awakened in the middle of the night, and the other woman looked at her and explained that he had just gone to use the bathroom.

As I grew into adulthood I always remembered these events vividly, but I never dealt with the emotional impact that they had on me.  My mother, who was supposed to be my most trusted guardian, could only dismiss my allegations as some sort of imaginary concoction or misinterpretation of the events.  As a result of my fear of reprisal from the church and my mother’s non-action, I learned to keep things to myself after that.  Since these two very notable experiences had happened during my primary development years, I was hardly able to deal with them on my own.  At home I was nicknamed “Gluck”, short for “Gloria the Suck”, because I was always crying for my mother.

As a result of my early childhood experiences, I was extremely shy. Although I was able to articulate my viewpoints with my close friends, I was unable to master any form of communication with groups.  Instead, I would utter some silly phrase or out-of-context comment that would make others look at me strangely.  As a teenager I decided that I wasn’t going to follow the path that everyone else was heading for.  I couldn’t, because I had these terrible secrets, and felt I would never fit in.  So I abandoned the ideals that had been presented to me as a child, and began to search for more meaning in my life.  I felt there was something terribly hypocritical about the trappings of a so-called normal life, so I decided that I would seek that which was real.  At least what was real to me.

I wanted to know about my purpose here.  I didn’t want a fairy tale.  Then at age fifteen, I had some of the most profound five minutes of my life, when I was presented with the seeds to my quest for substance in my existence.