Overcoming the Negativity of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Child in SpaceI hope that anyone who has been sexually abused by a priest or anyone in authority will be able to learn from my story…

Over the past few years I embarked on an endeavor to resolve some unfinished business that had adversely affected my life since childhood.  It was apparent to me for a long that I had to do something more besides just thinking and talking about it, and I suppose I was just waiting for the ‘right’ time to act.

Four years ago, when I was almost crushed by a car careening at me in a supermarket parking lot, I made a decision to give a statement to a law firm of how I had been raped by a Catholic priest at the age of 10.  My thinking was that, if ever there was a class action suit when others were coming forward about that same priest, my statement would be heard.  The lawyer that I spoke with told me that his firm would be able to help me on an individual basis and that the whole legal procedure would only take a couple of years at most.*

Although I had begun the process of making a report to the authorities 30 years ago when I first realized the impact of that violation of my innocence, I backed away because I was terrified of bringing all that emotional turmoil out into the open.  In fact, I was woefully aware that my own dear mother would never have supported me, because she believed in the religion far more than in her own daughter.

Child with Telescope

Throughout the legal process, I found out how voraciously the church defends their pedophile priests when childhood victims come forward.  Not only does the RC church use their authority to stretch out the time over which a victim has to endure the anxiety of thinking about going into a courtroom against their powerful institution, they accused me of lying!

Early on, the lawyers for the defense indicated that “the Diocese never received any complaints about Fr. Lefaive and had no knowledge of him being an abuser.” They were determined to cast doubt on me and attributed all my teenage and early adulthood problems to other issues, because there was no difference whatsoever in my scholastic achievements immediately following the rape.  In fact, I had skipped a grade in the year just prior to the event and was able to excel in that year and in the two years following.  Since I was under threat to keep the priest’s actions secret, it wasn’t until the priest had left my village that my behavior changed.

JulyCloudsSurprisingly, I never anticipated how difficult it would be to resurface all those childhood memories of the abuse and the aftermath in my life.  I thought that, with all the healing that had taken place since I’d started to work with my spirit, I would easily get through it all.  However, I learned that the entire legal procedure is painstakingly slow, and I underwent an absurd type of psychological torment that might have been intolerable 30 years ago.

During the legal process, I had to submit to psychological assessments by a leading psychologist and a psychiatrist educator who were hired for financial gain to provide conflicting views on my sorry story.   While I was comforted by the contents of my side’s report, I ended up paying a fortune for it.

When I was assessed by the defense psychiatrist, I was questioned for nearly 8 hours straight after a sleepless night, which only ended because the doctor had to pick up his children from school.  In his psychological report, the psychiatrist blamed my early issues on my family’s emotional and economic problems, but he said a few things that were almost supportive and even strange.  He cited studies that revealed that pre-pubescent children and those with higher intelligence fare better after being sexually abused, because they have better coping mechanisms. When I described how I had floated up out of my body, then lost consciousness while the priest was raping me, he rather absurdly stated I must have been thinking about something else.

WildSky

As the first person to ever come forward about Father Ulysse A. Lefaive, a gruff-mannered pompous  pedophile priest, I felt confused and betrayed as the date of my trial approached.  Even though he told me that the Diocese in which I was victimized had one of the worst records of child abuse, my lawyer suddenly changed his supportive manner and described the great risk of how the defense lawyers would turn everything around and basically destroy my character and possibly even force me to pay all their legal expenses!

Since the priest and my mother were both dead and I didn’t have enough witnesses to support my case, my lawyer told me that a judge or jury would find it hard to rule against a dead man with no prior accusations employed by such a powerful institution.  How uncaring to have put me through almost 4 years of anxiety by ripping open the wounds of my early life, only to be told that my case wasn’t strong enough to go into court!

Within a few weeks of my trial, I was suddenly surprised to receive an email from an elementary school classmate who had moved shortly after the priest had raped me.  I remembered this boy and had always wondered why he had left so suddenly with no explanation.  When I told what had happened to me at the hands of our parish priest, he said he knew about the ‘bisexual priest’, because he had been molested by him as well.  When I received this news, I was so hopeful that it would help my case, but my lawyer kept telling me that it was best to settle before going into the courtroom.

Ocean SurfaceAlthough I had very much wanted to publicly expose what had happened to me and its effects on my life, my case was settled out of court for much less than had initially been suggested, under the threat of ripping my family name apart and causing my personal financial ruin.  On their part, the RC church doesn’t want the acts of a pedophile priest to be subjected to public scrutiny, so they often bring cases like mine to the courthouse steps before they agree to settle.  The lawyers and the experts are making money, but the victims can never be repaid.  As children, we were preyed upon by pedophiles who stood in the highest regard in our communities.

Even though the activities of pedophiles employed by the Catholic Church have been exposed during the past 20 years, there’s still a lot more to be done to help the childhood victims of sexual abuse at the hands of their clergymen. The third highest ranking member of the Vatican is now being sued for sexual abuse in Australia, so how can anyone continue to trust in their integrity? At the world level, even though they condemned the Holy See in 2014, I sincerely hope that the UN will consider suspending the membership of the Holy See and conduct their own investigation into the human rights abuses perpetrated by this overly powerful religious institution.Summer Sky 2017.wp

Apart from being disillusioned with my case, I sincerely hope that my story will be helpful to anyone who has been sexually abused in any way by a person of authority.  I am proud of having been strong enough to finally stand up to the wealthy and powerful RC church, as they cast blame on us child survivors and attack our credibility when we come forward.

I’m not saying that making a legal claim against the RC church would help your emotional or mental suffering, because it will open up all the painful memories that your ordeal caused in your life. However, what can be gained from coming forward as an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse:

  1. Self-esteem. You’ll feel so much better for having stood up against a powerful authority that hurt and silenced you.
  2. Credibility.  Your family and friends will understand you better.  What happened set you on a different path than would have been traveled – you’ve blazed your own unique trail.
  3. Validation.  You’ll feel like someone of authority (your lawyer, your psychological assessor) believes you and will act on your behalf in the justice system.  As a child, you weren’t capable of righting the wrong; now your claim against the pedophile will be filed in the court records to help future victims, even if it never makes it to court.

 

Glo 7.8.2017.wpFrom my perspective, I am so very grateful that I found a higher-level way to help me fight the extreme negativity I was facing!  If I hadn’t learned how to work with my spirit 30 years ago, I might never have survived the ongoing disgusting negativity that leaves an abused child stranded in fear and hopelessness for the rest of their life.

Now I’ve completed the business of bringing my story into the justice system, so that other child victims of the same pedophile can come forward with more credibility and strength to have their story heard.

 

* Canadian law provides survivors of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of authoritative figures the right to come forward, no matter how much time has lapsed.  A very recent law allows survivors to bring the employers of deceased pedophiles to justice.

I am always available to help anyone who wants to learn how to work with their spirit in a practical and effective way to get rid of negativity at all levels.

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I welcome and value your input ~ Please feel free to comment!

I work across distance to extend my higher-level knowledge to you, wherever you are in the world! Learn how great life is when you work with a positively oriented spirit!

Feel free to drop by my work website! OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com

 

Perceptive Preparation

Beautiful ForestLast week’s early snowstorm made me reflect upon nature’s ability to ready itself for the changing climactic influences it faces over time. Many mid-sized trees had failed to shed their leaves in time to create the protective buds that will open into new foliage in the spring. In a similar way, when we’re preparing for upcoming endeavors, our untapped higher-level resources can help us meet any unexpected challenges that might arise.

While all of the larger mature trees in my area had lost their leaves over a month ago, those juvenile trees just hadn’t yet activated the instinct that enables them to lose their leaves in time for nature’s early freeze. Maybe some of those trees were planted at the wrong time of the year or they’re simply in the wrong climactic zone. Well, we’re not trees, but there are some parallels to our higher-level preparedness for unanticipated events.

Since we inhabit a planet that is spiritually negative, many of us are ill-prepared to meet its cold reality as we emerge from the innocence of our childhood. Apart from the many obstacles we face that can tarnish our outlook on life, there are unexpected spiritual impediments that can thwart our best efforts toward happiness. Learning positive spiritual principles increases our ability to deal with difficult daily situations and helps us to develop the positive use of inherent higher-level skills, like intuition and spiritual sensitivity.

Everyone can benefit from the potential positive output of personal spiritual advancement, butAutumn Trees it requires daily focus. After having worked with many clients from around the world, I’ve witnessed how the remarkable strength and resilience that comes from working with their spirit accelerates them to new levels of thought and energy. Upon becoming aware of their spiritual aspect, my clients suddenly brighten as they allow their spirit to emerge from its silence to become an invaluable part of their lives.

Just as trees are essential to our planet’s ecosystem, our spirits are essential to our being. How we respect and nurture them can lead them to flourish, but when we neglect them or leave them to another’s care, we can curtail or even destroy their potential benefits. Let’s not be caught off guard by higher-level obstacles that can disrupt our otherwise well laid plans, but be prepared by gaining incremental knowledge that satisfies our instinct to progress spiritually.

Frozen PathIf we’re to progress both individually and as a positively oriented civilization, it would help to establish a higher-level strategy to enable our spirits to use positive knowledge to overcome the negative spiritual climate on our planet.

The acknowledgement of our spiritual self as a dynamic part of our being can break the cycle of negativity we’ve endured as part of our upbringing on Earth and act as an accelerator to prepare us for a positive future.

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I work across distance to extend my higher-level knowledge to you, wherever you are in the world! Learn how great life is when you work with a positively oriented spirit!

Please drop by my work website… OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com

I welcome and value your input ~ Please feel free to comment!

Sensational Self-Esteem

hs-2005-12-e-full_jpg.jpg Eagle Nebula, M16, NGC 6611, IC 4703#4 on my list of “10 Reasons to Work With Your Spirit”…

Our individual uniqueness is the most incredible part of our physical existence.  As diverse as the heavenly bodies in the cosmos, we truly are a remarkable menagerie on our planet!

As children we naturally love ourselves and celebrate how different we are from everyone else.  However, many of us suffer from bullying or abuse as children and, for the rest of our lives, we struggle to deal with the consequences at all levels of our being.

Once we’ve been bullied or abused, we have to go through the mental and emotional processes that result from the events that occurred.  We suffer in silence and struggle to fit in, as the lingering negative memories deteriorate our ability to exercise self-love.

In the meantime, we aren’t even aware that we’ve accepted higher-level influences that interfere with our relationship with our spirit.  The early onset of spiritual negativity can attract a continuous stream of negativity over our lifetime that causea the self-imposition of ever-deteriorating self-esteem.

By working with your spirit, you’ll view your precious self in much more positive terms!  You’ll understand that the ongoing interference that was causing you to think less of yourself was nurtured by the negativity that you had been accumulating over the course of your lifetime.

Once you start refusing and counteracting higher-level negativity, your efforts will have a trickle-down effect that continually refreshes your enthusiasm for your individuality.  Your positive thoughts and emotions will become the norm and positive energy will emanate throughout all levels of your being.

You can sensationalize your self-esteem by allowing yourself to… hs-2013-43-a-web

  • Love and accept yourself totally for who you are!
  • Quit comparing yourself to others – they’re not you!
  • Forgive yourself for ever having believed you weren’t always awesome!
  • Refrain from reflecting on what could have or should have been!
  • Shed the shame and reclaim your worth and dignity!
  • Believe in yourself and expand on your positive points!
  • Embrace your ever-evolving uniqueness!
By working with your spirit in the most positive terms, the luminosity of your spirit’s Light* as it progresses will bring a more sophisticated perspective to your life in the context of your grander existence in the cosmos.

Find out how to get started by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment! 

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Related posts:

10 Reasons to Work With Your Spirit
#1 Being Happy
#2 Freedom From Fear
#3 Overcoming Emotional Negativity
#5 Why Working With Your Spirit Can Improve Your Health
#6 Higher-Level Free Will
#7 Release Your Creativity!
#8 Re-Understand Yourself Better
#9 Calm Amid the Chaos
#10 Progress With Your Spirit

Being Happy

The Heart Nebula

The Heart Nebula

Expanding on #1 on my list of “10 Reasons to Work With Your Spirit”…

In order for a star to become a star, it must first go through a process of forming its components that will eventually turn into the nuclear reactor at its core.  Not unlike becoming a star, in order to become a positively oriented being into which the Light* will flow, your spirit needs your help as an essential component of this process.

When I think of working with my spirit, “Happiness” is the first thought that comes to mind.  Just look at the diagram below and you’ll see how we light up thermally when we’re beaming with happiness!

Our lives are constantly transforming, not only from the choices we make personally at all levels, but also from the impact of exterior factors that either interfere with our wellbeing or bring us happiness.  We start off as beautiful happy children, idealistically viewing our world with the utmost optimism but, for so many, some incident starts spoiling the joy.  Whether it’s an off-hand remark, the effect of bullying or an abuse event, there are repercussions as the negativity hits at all levels and becomes engrained as memories.

Children are experts at returning to positive mode after troubling events but, as we grow older, lingering memories often crop up when least expected.  A child’s natural self-love nurtures their ability to work harmoniously with their spirit and the Light*, which enables a smoother and gentler transition from despondent to happy.  As we grow older, it often seems more complicated to get back to our shining self.

Your spirit should be the most positive part of you and, if you’re working effectively with it, your positive spiritual energy will filter down to you at the physical level.  If you’re not working with a positively oriented spirit, you’re missing out on the potential exuberant energy extended by such a spirit.

thermal emotions

If unpleasant thoughts keep popping up in your mind and you can’t shake them, there are usually higher-level reasons why you’re in this negative position.  Thought waves rebound across space and time, within your brain and from others.  When you learn to work with your spirit, you’ll discover ways to block incoming negative thoughts and how to more effectively adjust your thought patterns and get back to positive thinking.

If someone says something offensive or you experience a troubling event, you should be prepared spiritually for the onslaught of negative feelings and aftereffects of such events.  When involved in negative affronts by insensitive people, it’s amazingly effective to counteract the negative energy by going to work immediately at the higher level.  Then you can more easily deal with the physical aspects and get back to being happy within yourself.

Everyone has a different perspective about happiness, so you can’t compare yours to someone else’s experience.  Your personal happy state can be seen as the harmony you find at all levels of your being throughout the continuum of your life experience.

Nothing brings out the positive in me like the feeling I get when I see my spirit sparkling at me – that’s the basis of my happiness! What do you do to get yourself to being happy?

Find out how to get started by visiting my website at OnlyPositiveKnowledge.com !

I welcome and value your input~Please feel free to comment! 

*Light: The pure white light of the universe; purely positive energy; not associated with any one religion or deity; I work spiritually with people from every background from around the globe

Related posts:

10 Reasons to Work With Your Spirit
#2 Freedom From Fear
#3 Overcoming Emotional Negativity
#4 Sensational Self-Esteem
#5 Why Working With Your Spirit Can Improve Your Health
#6 Higher-Level Free Will
#7 Release Your Creativity!
#8 Re-Understand Yourself Better
#9 Calm Amid the Chaos